the forum for my personal soapbox

Monday, January 10, 2011

Back On the Box- Soap That Is.

I am back! After a holiday-consumed month off, I have returned to the glorious world of blogging. I hope someone out there missed me.... probably not, but that really is totally okay! New Years resolution #13 is to keep a positive attitude (Yes, 13. I have about 47, and as of January 10th I think I am doing a damn good job at keeping them!- Minus no drinking during the week, I was seriously off the rocker when I thought that was a self-improvement.) Side note- longest parenthesis statement ever. But, back to the gist of this blog sesh- obviously my thoughts and opinions did not halt during my month long sabbatical. I actually have numerous hand written notes that I thought were funny so lets see if I can entertain you!

(To preface: I stopped into the good old spa for a quick holiday clean up and my friend mentioned she was reading my blog (parenthesis within a parenthesis- Big thanks to Miss. Jennifer R.) and then she proceeded to toot my horn by saying I was hilarious and yadda yadda (again, thank you) but, Miss R. had an interesting spin on the tale, she said I was writing a cooking blog. Yes, food and wine do consume my life, and truth be told most good stories come from a few drinks and carbs. So, drum roll please, The.Ring is now my personal soapbox with a food twist... lets see how it goes!)

This story starts with a Pre- Baby Jesus Birthday Celebration cooking night. D was at lacrosse practice, bettering our youth. I was home blasting the Pandora R&B/Pop Holiday station (I ran out of my free 40 hours very early in the month of December. I obviously created another account instead of signing up for the paid subscription. What the H. Aren't commercials interrupting my listening experience enough?!) Anyways- I was perfecting my wrapping, and the wine was flowing. Naturally I realized I was hungry. And, for anyone who knows me, what is my favorite food? Pasta, duh. What do I make at least 3 times a week, again Pasta, duh! What is D's least favorite meal I cook? One last time please, Pasta, duh. So ding ding ding! Big buddy D is not expected home for at least another 2 hours! So what am I going to make for dinner!!!

P A S T A. duh.

My logic was, D cannot turn his nose at this meal choice or let alone really care because he will be so tired after his 15 hour day that he will just go into "goat mode" and consume anything I put in front of him. PLUS- up to this point he was not a strong contender in the present wrapping assistant role this 2010 holiday season; and after multiple paper cuts and sharpie marker stains, his opinion is not mattering too much to me. So, I finish a few minor present tweaks and continue on with my plan. I am not blood Italian (please do not confuse this with the self proclaimed proxy Italian that I am- I bleed EVOO and Red Sauce.) But I firmly believe that sauce goes with everything- in this case, wrapping! So, in order to continue the bliss of the present making, Pandora listening, and Phillip Marquis (most amazing/most favorite/bestest wine in the entire world. Liz- if you are reading this, those 2 bottles you purchased for me prior to your "South American Amazing Race Honeymoon Adventure" are no longer with us. Well, on a technicality call I bet some of Phillips remnants can be found in close proximity to my liver- but like I said, technicality) drinking events of the evening I figured the sauce must be started!

So the sauce- equal parts garlic, seasoning, pureed tomatoes and red wine (literally my recipe) is simmering with a vivacious roar on the back burner- naturally in the All Clad. Mariah Carey is belting a classic holiday jam, I am filling the role as her back up, singing just as loud (to everyone who has been a victim to the carpool karaoke, you know how it goes), and the raffia bows are adorning my packages perfectly. Life is gooood.

Then is clicks- how can I make this meal more appealing for my soon to be home "Sunday Sauce" hating husband. Chicken! I have now miraculously turned my mundane, but delicious sauce into Chicken Parmesaaaaaaaan!!! (I am singing this as if I had just been enlightened) I get out the panko breadcrumbs, chicken breasts, egg-whites (hopefully my heart conscious readers are smiling). I do the process (with extreme glee) pound the breasts, dredge the chicken, and perfectly brown them. I mean perfectly. At this point, I have been cooking for an hour, wrapping for 3 and enjoying Phillip for a serious chunk of time. So, naturally I am starving. Not just incredibly hungry, I mean famished, like I haven't eaten in days. And, just like that I plop my rear on the couch with the little man. Watch as Duane Lee, Leland and Baby Lyssa arrest some Hawaiian hoodlums and pound down the carbs. David would  have fo-sho been appalled by my showing. I devoured that plate of red crispy pasta deliciousness in record time. I don't think I even chewed. Why would I? Look at this Heaven on a plate.

I said perfectly browned, and I did not lie.

I enjoy cheese a lot more than the average folk.

And, with that being said... 2011 will bring an eating contest into the life of Brenna Lortie Thering (just kidding, though I could prevail, nicely I might add.). Even my initials spell out food...BLT. (Side note- I hate bacon, it is a devil disguised in fat) Back to the reality of the moment- I slowly emerge out of my temporary food coma and begin to destroy the evidence. I return to my craft wrapping station- AKA dining room table and press on in Santa's Work Shop. I will leave you now with the little delights of this past holiday season- the Christmas wrapping I have become obsessed with <3 (Expect something very similar next year gift recipients!)

Trees naturally flow with my bird obsession
2011 brings the challenge of manilla tags- how many different ways can I use them? I still have solid 200 left from the wedding.
Classic brown bag, raffia, and green sharpie. 

Again with the trees- seriously love stamps.
And, it is only fair that the fur children get the best looking presents :)